It’s here. We made it. We finally made it. This election cycle is, one way or another, coming to an end. Here are some concoctions for us to enjoy this 8th of November. May whatever gods are out there have mercy upon our souls.
- Old Fashioned: This is the grumpy-old-man, get-off-my-lawn, IDGAF-just-leave-me-alone choice.
- Raise A Glass To The Minority Vote: Margaritas. Lots of margaritas.
- Just Kill Me Now: Straight shots of the highest-proof potable (or not!) liquor in arm’s reach. Repeat ad nauseum.
- Trump Victory: Take the most expensive bottle of liquor you have. Dump it down the drain, then take a shot of methanol. Because that’s analogous to what a Trump victory will do to the U.S.
- Nasty Woman: A Cosmo, but with some orange bitters. Bonus points if you use your own private, homemade bitters. Even more bonus points if you weren’t supposed to be making your own bitters.
- Bad Hombre: 4oz mescal, 2oz dry vermouth, 2 splashes Cointreau, 3 dashes orange bitters, pinch of chipotle powder or hot paprika.
- Trump’s Tax Returns: Take your most expensive bottle of liquor and hide it. Bring out a couple glasses of indeterminate (but cheap!) spirit and claim they are much more expensive than they really are. Threaten to sue anyone who disagrees with your valuation.
- The Trump Foundation: Take your friend’s 30 year old scotch. Serve it to guests, claiming it as coming out of your own stash.
- The Tea Party: 1 bag tea (hibiscus should do the trick), 2oz bourbon, club soda.
- The Tim Kaine: A rum and coke. Or jack and coke. Or a gin and tonic. Something simple, not exciting but almost always acceptable.
The Miksologist 